The Science of Attraction
(Science Of Attraction) Attraction isn’t only about looks. It’s about a certain primal magnetism. Of course, we can be physically attracted to someone, but we are more often drawn to their confidence, passion and personality. Being attractive is about more than just appearance. In fact:
Attractiveness is the basis of all human relationships.
Voice- In one study, men and women were asked to rate the attractiveness of a series of headshots that were paired with either a low pitched voice or a high pitched voice. Women consistently rated pictures matched with lower voices as more attractive, and men were just the opposite – higher voices more attractive. Also within the study fast talkers were perceived to be smarter, and those utilizing inflection were considered more interesting.
Wit- Though both men and women love a partner with a good sense of humour, it has different importance to each. For women, a man’s sense of humour shows that he is creative and intelligent. For men, a women that laughs at his jokes is signalling her sexual receptivity. In fact, studies show a similar sense of humour is important to long-term relationship success.
Availability- A drive to resolve uncertainty about a person’s attraction to you can cause you to obsess over them and can actually deepen your feelings towards them. If one understand economics, the idea is similar – lower availability, higher demand. However, if you set your value too high, you risk them giving up. People want a person that’s worth working for, but ultimately, they want a person who also wants them back.
Body Language- Your mother had the right idea. Good posture and a pleasant expression register with others more quickly than our style or even our appearance. You can thank our mirror neurons for that. We empathize and emulate the feeling of others, so if we look happy, relaxed, and interested, others are more likely to feel the same. John Neffinger, an expert in nonverbal communication, offers this bit advice.
Internally summon the attitude you’re trying to project. Think about what you felt like the last time you truly felt confident. Once you’ve recaptured that feeling, you’ll stand tall as you walk into the room.
Reputation- When others already trust you, like you, and are attracted to you, new prospects will generally follow suit. This serves as a sort of mating shortcut for us: it’s easier to trust others than do our own investigation. This is especially true for women. Studies show women will judge a man as more attractive if there is an attractive woman or two paying attention to him already. This may also explain why some women find themselves more attracted to a married man than they would if he was free.
Style- We tend to be attracted to people within our own socioeconomic class, but why? People tend to feel those with similar income and dress will also share our values, interest, and opinions. As much as we may try to be impartial to those things – the hair, nails, shoes, and clothes a person dons are difficult for us to separate from the person inside.
Charm- Charisma can go a long way when it comes to attraction. People who are confident in themselves inspire other’s confidence in them as well. “If she / he like her / himself, there must be something about her / him worth liking.” If you’re not feeling particularly confident, fake it! Smile, make eye contact, and adjust your speech rate to meet theirs. They’ll feel more connected with you, and if you keep it up, the act will become the reality.
Appearance- Average sizes and shaped features, fit body, symmetrical face, and clear skin are attractive to both sexes because they are indicators of good health and genetics. Where the sexes vary is in signs of sufficient sex hormones. Men find signs of youth and high estrogen attractive: full lips, small noses, and high cheekbones. Women on the other hand, prefer more adult features and signs of testosterone, like a strong chin and nose. What about height and weight? Well if you don’t happen to be a stick-thin woman or a particularly tall man, don’t worry. In the end, most people end up with a partner of a similar build to their own.
Mood- A cheerful disposition is attractive to both genders, but if the person you are trying to charm is having a bad day, you may have a hard time getting through to them. This is because when we’re feeling depressed, our ability to construct accurate first impressions.